Tips, Inspiration and Updates

Self Limiting Beliefs

Do you often wonder what it is that holds you back? Why you just don’t quite make that goal you had, or target you set your self, why you don’t take risks or continue to self sabotage ?

There is usually one main self-limiting belief that silently sabotages us in life. I know what mine was, but only really understood it and managed to control it in the past few years.

I actually had two limiting beliefs, the main one, a great fear of failure, I didn’t want to get anything wrong. I didn’t like getting into trouble, even now I am a great follower of rules. It goes back to my childhood and I can still remember my mum telling me off on several occasions. I broke her rules and that feeling of, I have let my mum down, and I can’t get anything right coupled with being told “you should know better, you are the oldest”  and the worst one “are you stupid? “ That one was the most painful. I knew I wasn’t, as I tried so hard at school, I was bright, in all the top sets, wanted to do well, I did my homework, I gained good exam results, but yet still I wasn’t good enough. I didn’t get to college or university, but that was because I had to go out to work and bring some money in. It was expected of me, and I didn’t want to let my mum down.

It also helps me to understand why I married a man twice my age at 18.

My other self-limiting belief was I wasn’t good enough, I felt I didn’t deserve it.

It wasn’t significant at that time as a child, I was so innocent but fast forward two failed marriages- I thought I was a failure. Counselling helped, I could see that the marriages had failed, not me, but still I had that little niggle, buried in my subconscious.

Often, at time of stress and anxiety, those feelings nudge themselves back to the conscious mind  and I struggle to push them back.

My desire to get everything right at work, by working long hours, going that extra mile, letting people take advantage of me, because I didn’t want to fail. I didn’t take risks, I didn’t like letting people down, so I never learned to say no. That was my own limiting belief.

I also know that I needed to process those feelings,  come to terms with them. It’s in the past and the past doesn’t dictate your future. It has taken time, self-reflection and self-awareness, as well as the training and reading lots of books in the past eighteen months,  as I transitioned into a life coach.

There are ten main self-limiting beliefs, see if you recognise yours.

1.       I’m too old

2.       I’m not smart or clever enough

3.       I’m not educated enough

4.       I’m afraid of trying and failing

5.       You must have money to make money

6.       It's selfish of me to want more

7.       I’ve already tried everything

8.       I don’t feel that I really deserve it

9.       I don’t have the will power

10.    All the good ones are taken

If you recognise any and are struggling, I can help you move forward. Call or text me for your free consultation on 07738479799.


Carole Haywood-Poole